Adoption Process Challenges

Parents – the majority being single mothers – can give children up for adoption willingly through a legal process, a child’s parents can be legally deemed unfit to raise him or her, or a child’s parent or parents could die, leaving the child without legal guardians and thus available for adoption. Though a large majority of children that are adopted are very young infants, there are always children available for adoption up to the age of 18. Most adoptions are done through an adoption center, although private adoptions through attorneys are becoming more common. “Open adoptions”, where the birth parents and adoptive parents meet and get to know each other and the birth parents are usually well known to the child as he or she grows up, is also becoming much more common. Open adoption is often known as an “adoption gift”, since it is a process where the birth parent or parents give their child to the adoptive parents freely, with none of the secrecy that used to be involved in the adoption process.

What kind of people adopt?

The majority of people who adopt children are, obviously, couples who for one reason or another cannot have their own biological children. This can be due to such things as infertility or certain medical conditions that make pregnancy and birth dangerous, or that make carrying a pregnancy to term virtually impossible. Often, people will go through the process of adoption in order to give homes to older children or children with special needs such as handicapped or mentally impaired children. These people may even have biological children of their own, but often look for a child available for adoption that may have otherwise stayed “in the system” all of his or her life because of certain circumstances. Many people, whether they have biological children or not, will adopt children from other countries – usually third world countries – to save them from lives of poverty and institutionalism. Some people will turn to adoption even though they are healthy and capable of having children of their own because they feel that instead of adding to the population they should raise a child that already needs a home. Gay male couples will often adopt instead of employing the services of a surrogate. A child’s relatives may choose to adopt him or her because of termination of parental rights or parental death. A stepmother or stepfather may choose to adopt a spouse’s children if the other parent is deceased or has given up parental rights, or had his or her parental rights terminated.

The adoption process

The adoption process can vary according to the type of adoption that is being done. The longest established process is to go through an adoption center, although the “adoption gift” or open adoption process is quickly becoming just as common. A private adoption through an attorney is usually an open adoption, although it doesn’t have to be. Whatever the type of adoption being done, there are certain steps that the adopting couple or person has to do - or should do - in order to qualify to be a legal guardian. With an adoption center, a couple or single person will first fill out legal forms requesting to go through the adoption process, and will then provide extensive personal, medical, and financial information. The person or couple will be investigated by the adoption center, and that will include home visits and interviews. These steps are necessary to ensure that a child is going to a good home, and the pre-adoption process usually takes several months. If a couple is deemed suitable to adopt by the adoption center, they will then usually go on a waiting list for a newborn baby, but there is usually no waiting list with a kid adoption or special needs child adoption. When a child is placed with the person or couple, it usually takes about another 6 months for the adoption to be declared final by a family court judge. The process may be slightly different in certain ways with an adoption gift, private attorney adoption, or adoption by relatives of course, but the steps to ensure parental suitability and legalizing the adoption should remain the same. When adopting a child from another country, a person or couple must follow the rules of the child’s birth country, as well as rules and regulations in their own country.

Overcoming adoption challenges

The adoption process may seem daunting, but of course there is good reason for that. If you are considering adoption you should take careful stock of your own circumstances before beginning the process. The more you prepare before you apply, the better off you’ll be. Be prepared to have everything about your life scrutinized and accept that fact beforehand; getting angry because you feel your privacy is being violated will only reflect badly on you – so get over it before it happens! Also, be prepared to wait and then wait some more. With a gift adoption or kid adoption, there will probably be no waiting list, but you will still have to wait to have the adoption finalized. Remember that during the waiting period for an adoption to be finalized a birth parent can change his or her mind, or something else could happen and the adoption could fall through. This is a worrisome fact about adoption, but that worry will always be a part of it. Do research about adoption and prepare as well as you can before you apply so that the process will go more smoothly from beginning to end.